Christmas Parade Hilarity
The Christmas parade Saturday in downtown Beaumont was every bit as fun, wonderful and chaotic as I've come to expect.
The strange blend of Yuletide, Mardi Gras and shameless advertising is a must-see event locally.
The parade used to go down Main Street, and the wall outside The Beaumont Enterprise was a great place to sit and wait while the kids frolicked in a nearby drainage gutter and in trees.
However, this year's parade started near the Entergy building and went right through the Crockett Street Entertainment District, which made the proceedings more colorful and festive.
When the parade began and the candy flew, my boys didn't quite grasp the idea that this was competition, not an entitlement to every piece of candy that came their way. After a few shed tears and bruised feelings, they got the hang of it and held their own.
The event was full of funny moments. Only in Beaumont can a massive yellow septic truck fit right in with the parade.
But the most hilarious moment came when there was a curiously large gap in the parade. I looked up the street to see that the front of the parade had looped around and was intersecting with its mid-section.
I'm not an expert on traffic logistics, but somewhere in The Ultimate Guide To Parade Management, there has to be a section warning organizers to NOT MAKE THE PARADE INTERSECT ITSELF.
It reminded me of that scene toward the end of "Animal House," where all hell breaks loose thanks to the Deathmobile, and the marching band somehow gets re-routed down a dead-end alley and hits a wall in a glorious trombone-crushing moment.
As Beaumont's parade wore on, there were more and more gaps thanks to the intersection. Finally, the end arrived and we were out of there with a bag overflowing with candy.
If nothing else, being toward the parade's headwaters allowed us to beat the rush out of downtown.
Let's hope that next year, organizers won't get the bright idea to design a route that looks like a DNA strand.
The strange blend of Yuletide, Mardi Gras and shameless advertising is a must-see event locally.
The parade used to go down Main Street, and the wall outside The Beaumont Enterprise was a great place to sit and wait while the kids frolicked in a nearby drainage gutter and in trees.
However, this year's parade started near the Entergy building and went right through the Crockett Street Entertainment District, which made the proceedings more colorful and festive.
When the parade began and the candy flew, my boys didn't quite grasp the idea that this was competition, not an entitlement to every piece of candy that came their way. After a few shed tears and bruised feelings, they got the hang of it and held their own.
The event was full of funny moments. Only in Beaumont can a massive yellow septic truck fit right in with the parade.
But the most hilarious moment came when there was a curiously large gap in the parade. I looked up the street to see that the front of the parade had looped around and was intersecting with its mid-section.
I'm not an expert on traffic logistics, but somewhere in The Ultimate Guide To Parade Management, there has to be a section warning organizers to NOT MAKE THE PARADE INTERSECT ITSELF.
It reminded me of that scene toward the end of "Animal House," where all hell breaks loose thanks to the Deathmobile, and the marching band somehow gets re-routed down a dead-end alley and hits a wall in a glorious trombone-crushing moment.
As Beaumont's parade wore on, there were more and more gaps thanks to the intersection. Finally, the end arrived and we were out of there with a bag overflowing with candy.
If nothing else, being toward the parade's headwaters allowed us to beat the rush out of downtown.
Let's hope that next year, organizers won't get the bright idea to design a route that looks like a DNA strand.
posted by Brian Pearson at 1:28 PM
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