He's Brawny, Burly and Has Biceps to Spare

This could ruin your day - or perhaps even the week and beyond.
I have a diabolical songwriting affliction. Songs create themselves out of nowhere. They stick in the brain for days or weeks.

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston

Faraway, unidentifiable music morphs into original music. Songs pour in at 3 a.m. out of nowhere. The simple rhythm of someone's walk results in music. The drone of a carnival ride kick-starts a wicked guitar riff. Entire compositions have emerged from the hours of sitting quietly in a deer blind.

No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

There are more than 100 of these songs recorded and split between tapes and CDs at home, and that's just a fraction of the anthology. The brain often creates songs I'm incapable of playing, and the catalogue of forgotten songs dwarfs what is recorded or documented on paper.

Often, worlds collide in terrible ways.

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

So when Hurricane Gustav came along, I was powerless to prevent what happened next. My brain exchanged "Gaston" with "Gustav" in that song from the Disney movie "Beauty and the Beast," and it has been on repeat ever since.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhG9hKiplfQ&feature=related

No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

Have a nice week, and don't forget to review your hurricane plans.

No one plots like Gustav
Takes cheap shots like Gustav
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gustav