Oh, Those Cold, Impersonal Christmas Cards
I don't like cards.
I'm a writer, so I'd like to think I can come up with something better than the Hallmark folks. I almost never buy cards for other people, and I have to force myself to read the cards I get from others, on the off chance they might actually have found the card to perfectly express their thoughts and emotions.
I make some exceptions for Christmas cards.
Typically, moreso when I was single, I'd buy the cheapest box of cards I could find and then actually WRITE something to the intended recipient. I avoided being long-winded, like some folks do, penning every significant event of the past year.
Yawn.
What's even worse is when people type up and mass produce some tedious description of the past year. I rarely read those to the end.
I've also never liked the ones that have pre-printed names on them, "From John and Mary." Thanks for the sentiment, but I'd rather you sign it yourselves. At least that has some hint of a personal touch.
In recent years, we've been sending out cards that are pictures of our kids. I like it when people send me pictures of their kids or entire families. Then I can see how much the kids have grown and whether someone has gone to pot. Just admit it. That kind of stuff makes us feel better about ourselves, right?
I'm sure my card targets have yukked it up over my photos.
Besides, isn't half the fun of a high school reunion being able to see what people look like now?
Last year, our Christmas card was a picture of our kids looking bewildered as they stood atop the mammoth log pile in our front year. The pile was from the trees that fell on our house and yard during Hurricane Rita.
That picture pretty much summed up our year.
My favorite Christmas greetings are the gag ones I've been exchanging with a college buddy and his wife for years. I don't even remember them all, but they've been very funny.
Mocking a Christmas card of a mutual friend, I sent him one with the signature so small that it needed a magnifying glass to see it. He responded with a card with no signature at all, only a haphazardly designed greetings with some strange mugshots of he and his wife. Their greetings were better than ours for the first few years, although we did get them good with "Merry Christmas" written in small type on 50 yards of newsprint I stole out of the pressroom. I also sent it certified mail so that he had to drive all the way to the post office to get it.
But we killed them last year. Using my eight-track digital recorder, my wife and I came up with a new version of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," only we called it "Living in the Dallas Metroplex."
The singing is horrible and off-key, and the lyrics can't be printed in a family blog such as this one. But it was hilarious.
We have no plan for this year, but we are expecting some strong retaliation from their camp this Christmas.
As for other kinds of greetings, don't get me wrong. I like to have a big set of Christmas cards to display every year. It kind of shows how many people we know and that they're still thinking of us. So even if I've hurt your feelings by mocking your card style, don't hesitate to send us cards again this year.
The only ones I don't display are the ones from politicians and government entities. I've gotten Christmas cards from George W. Bush, Rick Perry, lietenant governors, U.S. senators and all sorts of people. I guess their public relations folks just go down their contacts list and send off a card.
I think the cards are OK, and at least they're better than what I received today: an e-mailed Christmas card from someone I've never met. Based on the sender's e-mail address, I discovered that the Clayton family is connected to the Better Business Bureau. Further research revealed the Michael Clayton is president and CEO.
He certainly has a nice-looking family:
http://img469.imageshack.us/img469/5998/christmascardvc5.jpg
I think it's swell of the Claytons to think of me this time of year, albeit via e-mail.
Because there's no return address, I can't really mail them a card. I could look it up, but somehow I don't think they'd care all that much.
I suppose the best I can do is send an e-mailed response containing the link to this blog. Or maybe I'll just let them find out via word of mouth.
So here's to you, Claytons.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I'm a writer, so I'd like to think I can come up with something better than the Hallmark folks. I almost never buy cards for other people, and I have to force myself to read the cards I get from others, on the off chance they might actually have found the card to perfectly express their thoughts and emotions.
I make some exceptions for Christmas cards.
Typically, moreso when I was single, I'd buy the cheapest box of cards I could find and then actually WRITE something to the intended recipient. I avoided being long-winded, like some folks do, penning every significant event of the past year.
Yawn.
What's even worse is when people type up and mass produce some tedious description of the past year. I rarely read those to the end.
I've also never liked the ones that have pre-printed names on them, "From John and Mary." Thanks for the sentiment, but I'd rather you sign it yourselves. At least that has some hint of a personal touch.
In recent years, we've been sending out cards that are pictures of our kids. I like it when people send me pictures of their kids or entire families. Then I can see how much the kids have grown and whether someone has gone to pot. Just admit it. That kind of stuff makes us feel better about ourselves, right?
I'm sure my card targets have yukked it up over my photos.
Besides, isn't half the fun of a high school reunion being able to see what people look like now?
Last year, our Christmas card was a picture of our kids looking bewildered as they stood atop the mammoth log pile in our front year. The pile was from the trees that fell on our house and yard during Hurricane Rita.
That picture pretty much summed up our year.
My favorite Christmas greetings are the gag ones I've been exchanging with a college buddy and his wife for years. I don't even remember them all, but they've been very funny.
Mocking a Christmas card of a mutual friend, I sent him one with the signature so small that it needed a magnifying glass to see it. He responded with a card with no signature at all, only a haphazardly designed greetings with some strange mugshots of he and his wife. Their greetings were better than ours for the first few years, although we did get them good with "Merry Christmas" written in small type on 50 yards of newsprint I stole out of the pressroom. I also sent it certified mail so that he had to drive all the way to the post office to get it.
But we killed them last year. Using my eight-track digital recorder, my wife and I came up with a new version of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," only we called it "Living in the Dallas Metroplex."
The singing is horrible and off-key, and the lyrics can't be printed in a family blog such as this one. But it was hilarious.
We have no plan for this year, but we are expecting some strong retaliation from their camp this Christmas.
As for other kinds of greetings, don't get me wrong. I like to have a big set of Christmas cards to display every year. It kind of shows how many people we know and that they're still thinking of us. So even if I've hurt your feelings by mocking your card style, don't hesitate to send us cards again this year.
The only ones I don't display are the ones from politicians and government entities. I've gotten Christmas cards from George W. Bush, Rick Perry, lietenant governors, U.S. senators and all sorts of people. I guess their public relations folks just go down their contacts list and send off a card.
I think the cards are OK, and at least they're better than what I received today: an e-mailed Christmas card from someone I've never met. Based on the sender's e-mail address, I discovered that the Clayton family is connected to the Better Business Bureau. Further research revealed the Michael Clayton is president and CEO.
He certainly has a nice-looking family:
http://img469.imageshack.us/img469/5998/christmascardvc5.jpg
I think it's swell of the Claytons to think of me this time of year, albeit via e-mail.
Because there's no return address, I can't really mail them a card. I could look it up, but somehow I don't think they'd care all that much.
I suppose the best I can do is send an e-mailed response containing the link to this blog. Or maybe I'll just let them find out via word of mouth.
So here's to you, Claytons.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
posted by Brian Pearson at 1:47 PM
1 Comments:
I didnt send cards out this year.. And ive got a growing stack of cards unopened in my car from others. Im just not with the season this year. And the fact that 9 out of 10 cards say Love so and so on them and they write that to everyone else they send it to.. makes it a lil impersonal to me and it sits in my car collecting dust (live down a dirt road)for a while..
Just call me grinch.
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