Conflicted Over Bus Crash Charge

Perhaps had it been my child killed in the bus wreck on that rainy day last year, I would want payback. Maybe I would want someone, anyone, to take the fall, to get pinned with blame, to face criminal charges and a painful civil lawsuit.
A parents' body naturally generates the worry hormone the minute a child is born. Judging from how much my dear old mother still worries incessantly about her children, and now the grandchildren, I assume this hormone is in it for the long haul. They call it "a parent's worst nightmare," and there is no more accurate way to put it.
But I can't speak for what happens when the nightmare becomes reality.
That's why I find myself torn and conflicted over the Texas Department of Public Safety charges filed last week against a Houston man whose lost trailer load of insulation was blamed for sparking a charter bus wreck that killed two West Brook High School girls varsity soccer players.
We know little so far about the driver, Joel Martinez, who could face up to two years in jail if convicted on the felony charge of criminally negligent homicide. His poorly secured load caused death, and I can only imagine that this guy is in a world of pain that will stay with him for life. Based on attempts to interview the bus driver, we know she grieves about what happened.
Would Martinez's conviction make anyone feel better or perhaps avert future tragedies? I know that after this, I'll make sure any load I'm hauling is secured to the max.
And what about the charter bus driver, who used "overaggressive steering," according to the accident report, when she saw what turned out to be only blocks of insulation falling on the road? If Martinez must face charges, why shouldn't she?
I don't think she should, and neither should Martinez, for that matter, unless there was some especially reckless circumstances that have yet to come to public light.
But what do I know? I didn't lose a child that day.
I learned as a young driver to not panic and radically swerve if there is something unavoidable in my lane other than another vehicle, large livestock or some other huge object that could cause spectacular, potentially fatal damage if struck head-on.
My first lesson in this was when a 16-year-old friend was driving, and a kitten wandered into the road. With lots of oncoming traffic to the left and a deep ditch to the right, the only choice was to pancake kitty. Years later, I did the same thing with a poor turkey, with the impact leaving a rather humorous cloud of feathers in my wake.
Years later, a must-swerve situation presented itself while my wife and I drove from Killeen to Houston one night. Some dude in a truck was crossing a median, and his unlighted trailer stuck out into our lane. My wife, who was driving, didn't see it, but I did. "Right lane now," I said calmly. "Get in the right lane NOW, because there's a trailer sticking out in our lane."
She listened, saw the trailer and safely swerved at the last minute to avoid it. I can't imagine what would have happened had we hit that thing at 65 mph. I was so angry at the other driver that I wanted to go back and punch him in the face, but we pressed on instead, our hearts pounding out of our chests.
That charter bus carrying the West Brook students most likely would have mowed right over those insulation blocks, but it didn't. Then again, those blocks shouldn't have been there in the first place.
Similar road-obstacle situations present themselves all the time on our highways, with most of them not ending fatally. But then along comes that one that results in tragedy, changes lives forever and makes us realize how quickly life can change on a dime.
I pray for all of those touched by the West Brook bus accident, from the friends and loved ones of the two girls who died to the charter bus driver to Joel Martinez, whoever he is.
This is one of those lose-lose situations for everyone, just about any way you slice it. I just hope all can find some road to inner peace.